2007-09-24

Only 3

Back when there was a 1 and a 2, there was almost a 3.
It never happened though. I was just too busy.

There is a phrase I like to use, "Two girlfriends are one too many."

I tend to be pretty focused, and find it difficult to multi-task. From what I've read, this is not unusual.

Apparently women are better than men at focusing on more than one thing at a time. One example that comes to mind is conversation.

Verbal communication.

At times, it can be difficult for a man to keep track of what a woman is talking about. And if a man sits back and listens to two women conversing, it is not unlikely, that in a very short time he may have no idea what topic, or topics, are being discussed.

But that particular example is well known. Almost stereotypical. Recent studies have shown that it goes far beyond conversational skills, to include areas that not only support traditional role theory, but also lend credence to the idea that women in business, industry, and government, have skills that may allow them to be better leaders and managers than men. (something for everyone here.)

But that is not my point. My point is that I tend to be a focused, if not easily distracted individual.

And that is why there wasn't a 3. But there almost was.

When I decided to start dating again, it took a while for things to get going. But once they did, it quickly started to get out of hand. I had dated a couple of girls, was seeing two, and then a third possibility appeared.

We had sent some emails back and forth, 3 and I, and even had a real nice conversation on the phone one day. I got the impression that we would be very compatible, and wanted to meet her in person.

At the time, I was very busy at work, and after work, I was seeing 1 and 2. But in spite of all that, I made tentative plans to meet 3 for dinner after work some evening. A location was established, but we never had a specific day picked out. I was just supposed to call her when I had some free time. An hour or two notice was all she needed.

As it turned out, I remained quite busy. Between work, 1, and 2, I never did find the time to meet her. And before long, enough time had passed, that I felt uncomfortable calling her at all.

So we never did meet, I never contacted her again, and she never called or wrote to ask why. I don't blame her. I felt bad, but just didn't know what to say after so much time had passed.

In a short time, I was mostly feeling bad for myself. Between 1 and 2, I was beginning to think I preferred 2. But 2 dropped off, her choice, so I was left with 1.

I thought about 3 a lot, felt I had really blown it by not calling her. I was drifting away from 1, my choice, and often wondered where things might have gone with 3.

I even thought about calling or writing after six months, but figured she would have either forgotten me, been insulted, or perhaps angry. In any case, I didn't believe there was a chance, the opportunity had passed.

Then in time, I found another 2. She was a very nice woman, and we went out a few times. Mostly hiking, but that never really took on a romantic tone.

Since things were still cooling off with 1, and the thing with 2 seemed to be more of a friendship than anything romantic, I found I had some extra time and began looking again.

After a few attempts, I found another 3.

The funny thing is, 3 is just what I had imagined she would be in almost every way. It's like I got another opportunity after all, and this time I didn't let it go by.

So now, it's only 3.